Skip this one, its for me only.

Roller coaster - stop, I want off.

I am trying to figure out the emotional roller coaster I am riding. It is physical too. I feel pretty damn low today.

Why?
Good question.

I must have overdone it yesterday physically. I was in pain and refused to take anything to help me sleep. I sometimes take an antihistamine but I don't feel real rested in the morning. I usually take them only on Sundays. Yeah, for the first time in years, I am suffering from that "dreading going to work on Monday" thing. If you go back a couple months in my blog entries, the reason is there.

Anyway, I didn't sleep well and today I am not happy. A lack of sleep screws me up. I have been crying and in pain. I have the heating pad on high on my left calf. There is a knot of pain there that makes no sense. After about 2 hours, it is starting to ease.

My hope for this 4 day weekend was to rest. Instead, I stayed up late, slept in late, Screwed up my medicine and eating schedule. Then overdid it trying to finish my bathroom floor and shampoo all my carpets. Neither is done.

So maybe its Sunday, I didn't get much accomplished and I am mad at myself? When will I ever figure out my limitations?