Feeling Good!

Thanks for the comment about the leather vs microfiber. That locks it for me!

I should be tired, but I feel great. Yesterday I upped my protein intake and I think it is paying off for me. I had a crazy busy day at work and was able to come home, grab Sadie, run errands, go for a walk, and then come home and clean house. I am definitely having a protein shake tonight again.

I meant to mention something in my last post, and it slipped my mind. When I was comparing my door prize yarn to van Gogh's Sunflowers, I remember Grandma had a copy of it hanging on the wall at the lake house. Did she take it with her to the condo? What ever happened to it? Anyone know?


It was a brisk, but bright and sunny day "up north".

I think I will leave the spinning wheel alone tonight and do some knitting. I am doing a KAL (knit a long) with a colorwork project. The kicker is - its a mystery. I have no idea what I am knitting! I do know it will involve steeking - cutting my stitches. My knitting group wants me to do the cutting in front of them and they will videotape it! What nuts! But really, the thought of cutting your knitted stitches is scary!

At some point, I am going to have to work on some Christmas projects. I have an idea, but it involves the "S" word (as Jennifer would say!). Sewing! Oddly enough, I got the idea while listening to a knitting podcast. Hm...ain't the mind a mystery?

Tonight is Glee! Weeee! What a fun show. Reminds me why I hated high school. lol

Well, I'm off to knit!

Lamb & Wool Fest

The last week has flown by.

When I posted last, I was consumed with finishing my skein of yarn (pictured, natural white) for the skein contest at the Northern Michigan Lamb and Wool festival. I am proud to say it was finished and scored very well (98 out of 100) in the contest. I am also pleased that there were so many entries. Already, I can't wait until next year!

I took 2 spinning classes and I spent last night working on my long draw. I am all fired up to spin with the tips from the contest and knowledge learned in the classes.

I also volunteered all day Friday, Saturday morning, and Sunday afternoon. That left almost no time to shop. Not even browse! I think I only made one purchase - a threading hook for my wheel. It is kinda cutsie, but I adore it. And it was within budget. And the one I was using was driving me crazy. Oh, and two bars of soap. Both from the same vendor, two different days. I have another purchase planned from that vendor the end of next month..."if it is meant to be" (I kept saying that...I was so brain numbed at that point).

Van Gogh Museum - Sunflowers, 1889
Originally uploaded by MicheleLovesArt

I won a door prize and picked out 2 gorgeous skeins of yarn the color of marigolds. Its rich color kept drawing my eye, so in the end, I caved and selected them. Sue said the color was reminisce of the van Gogh painting "Sunflowers" and she nailed it! There were so many great door prizes - all donated by vendors. I tried to locate the vendor that donated them, but it was at the very end of the day and some were gone and all were frantically breaking down displays and packing to go home.

I finally was shooed off the grounds at 4:30pm on Sunday. It was a exhausting, but wonderful weekend. The Three fiber musketeers have just one more fiber festival left. We will be going to Ann Arbor the end of October to attend the 3rd Fiber Expo. I have 2 solid days of classes there - Oh dear, when will I ever be able to shop?

Fall is here. The leaves have turned, but not at peak yet. I came home and it was only 59 in the house. Yeah, I had to turn on the heat. I hope it is temporary.

Last week, Mom asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I asked her to ask me again after the fiber fest. As coincidence would have it, I got a follow up call from the upholsterer I contacted earlier in the spring. Remember the black, ratty leather chair? I think that my Christmas present will go towards finishing that. We even discussed a foot stool to go with it. She told me everyone is going with microfiber, but I am still leaning toward recycled leather. She is going to look into microfiber a bit more - I am concerned about my pets staining it. I seem to recall the Twisted Sister had leather furniture that survived two bratty kids (just seeing if they are paying attention, they are really little angels).

It's crunch time! (back to fluffy fiber clouds again)

SANY0934

When I came home this evening it was so nice I wanted to finish my spinning outside on the deck - So I did. I spent several hours hanging out with the cat and dog enjoying the clean, after-downpour, fresh air. Later, Sadie started snuffing and huffing and even barked at something unseen in the woods. The squirrels and chipmunks had been squawking too. She got pretty agitated, so I packed up and moved us inside.

I kept thinking of this morning, when it was still dark and I turned on the floodlights in the back yard. There were two bright, vivid blue eyes reflecting in the lights from the edge of the woods. It was cool and creepy at the same time. It was a small animal though, so I wasn't too concerned. They disappeared shortly after the lights came on and I let Sadie out as usual. I googled it when I went to work, but did not find anything relevant. I emailed LC Guy to see if he had ideas. I will try to remember to update the blog if I discover what "it" was out there.

I finished spinning my 3rd bobbin this evening and I am getting ready to ply this evening. I am not good a plying...yet. But I am going to give it a go tonight and take my time. I have a couple reference books and I am all ready...except - I don't have a lazy kate! A lazy kate holds your 2-3 (or more) bobbins while you wind (ply) the singles onto another bobbin.

Again, I asked Google what to do. He was very helpful. I had been thinking of using a shoebox, but this idea was even better. I took a photo of my contraption...er, I mean my lazy kate.

I am going to make this short, because I want to finish up the yarn this evening. I want to enter it in a contest at the fiber festival this weekend. I still have lots to do in order to get it ready. I am not concerned with winning. This contest is more about improving your spinning technique. The judge will offer tips for improvement and judge the skein of yarn only by its "intended use". Since I am a very, very inexperienced spinner, I hope to get lots of tips! lol Hey, that would make me a winner anyway, wouldn't it? Oh, and I am taking 2 spinning classes this weekend too...I'm so geeked!

Gotta run, so much to do, so little time...Sue Sue and Kristi arrive Friday night, house isn't clean, beds aren't made...too bad, I have to finish the skein first! Fortunately, they will understand completely. They are entering contests also.

Mystery prints

When I went out to get the mail yesterday, I notices these paw prints in the sand of my drive way. I am thinking a raccoon or possum. I will be googling it.

Update: It could be a raccoon, but I was unable to determine conclusively.

No light reading here - move along people

angry face i made on paint at school
Originally uploaded by Shadow of a Scarecrow

I took a hour and pounded this out on my keyboard.
It isn't pretty. There are incomplete thoughts and sentences.
It is not the light and carefree composition you are used to reading on this blog.
It is dark and ugly.

But I don't care.

It needed to come out because it is eating me. It is the reason I have not been able to write for several weeks. It is the reason I have withdrawn from family and friends. The reason I am not returning phone calls, emails, or socializing comfortably.

First of all, thank you for your emails of encouragement and concern. They are appreciated, even though they went unanswered. (Sorry)

If you came for fluffy clouds of fiber or witty stories about living up north, you are going to want to stop reading right now. Run away. Come back in about a week. Okay? Thanks for coming though, I appreciate it!

---------------------------------------------------

somewhere, about mid august, i lost something.

my hunch is that it had to do with the incident at work, bringing back a bunch of bad baggage from the past. Kinda like triggering post traumatic stress syndrome or something.

Ever since, I have become reactive instead of proactive. In fact, I'm not sure I am even active. I'm frozen in place like a deer in the headlights.

I have become angry. Why does this pattern keep repeating itself in my life? I don't think I have the "victim" mentality. I am smart, honest, hardworking and take initiative. Why do people think they can use me as a punching bag? I promised myself a long time ago, I would not take shit from anymore bully bosses.

No more dreading to go to work on Monday
No more sleepless Sunday nights thinking about going to work in the morning
No more anxiety, stomach aches, fear, anger and tension at work.

Until mid-august, I had forgotten what it was like to not enjoy going to work.

Work is work, sure. But sometimes you get lucky and find a job and/or a boss you enjoy working with day after day.

I don't drink anymore, so I can't escape that way on the weekends. Drinking allows you to forget, if only for little while. For a while, you don't think. I have been accused, numerous times, of thinking too much. I would rather think too much than mindlessly wandering through the day. I enjoy many activities that allow my mind to wander while I work. Processing my wool, knitting and spinning are solitary activities that allow my thoughts to roam. This is part of the creative process. I come up with ideas, solutions, and different points of view. When you allow your thoughts to wander freely, your mind relaxes. I am comfortable with my thoughts. Usually.

On the negative side of thinking too much, it also allows me to second guess myself and others. Why did she laugh when I said that? It wasn't funny. What is it about me that makes others think it is okay to use me as a emotional punching bag, manipulate me, and take me for granted?

I am reading a book right now called "the ignored". It is about an average guy. This guy takes a nondescript job at a nondescript company and all his co-workers ignore him or just don't see him. Except for his boss. His boss is hostile towards him. I find myself relating to the main character.

I am not whining or complaining. Do not tell me I am lucky to have a job. I am not depressed or feeling sorry for myself. I know I am smart, funny, honest and possess ample skills. I am a more than competent and conscientious employee. The last time I agonizingly quit a job, I had 3 job offers by the end of the following day. I am an exceptional worker and human being. No one has any reason to treat me otherwise.

Yea, I am angry. I am not used to feeling angry. I am the one everyone counts on to be "up", happy, open-minded and clear headed. My head is definitely NOT clear.

Three different doctor offices were nasty, callous, and rude to me last week. One of those was MY doctor's office. The other two were ones I was considering becoming a patient at when I called. I found someone else.

People are are not listening. They will start talking before I finish my sentence. They will talk to me in a condescending manner as if I were a two year old. They are disrespectful of my clearly stated boundaries. Misleading. Selfish. Thoughtless.

Hello people! I am here, I am just as important as you are and I am tired of being treated like shit. What happened to respect and dignity? Why shouldn't I be angry? Gee, girl, why do you have such an attitude?

I want whatever it is that I lost back.

I am trying to concentrate on being positive. I still have my sense of humor and little patience left. And it will work for a few days and I will think I have overcome the bad mojo.

But every angry word, every thoughtless comment, every time I say something and I am completely ignored, it gets knocked down a peg.

But I will keep trying. I know it is only a matter of time. Good thing I am a stubborn wench.

Be careful what you ask for, Erin...

Fall sunrise

Fall sunrise

More photos to speak for me. I'm having a mini-piti-party. It's temporary. No worries. I may vent about it this weekend. If I do, I apologize in advance!

I took these on the way to work at the college earlier this week. It was really hot the day before and the temp drops overnight - causing the foggy / misty sunrise.









This last photo was taken today on our walk.

Today's Walk

Looks like the leaves are changing.









But Dad told me tonight that it is supposed to be in the 70s and 80s for several more days! Tomorrow might be a beach day!

The wall and it is MY lake

This the wall of wool...or the corner of wool. It is all the processed fleece and my roving. There is more, but isn't it impressive stacked up the wall? :) Better than cramming it into the closet. I have plans to expand the wall o wool in the future. I have plenty to fill it. I have a feeling there will be more in the spring when LC Guy starts shearing in earnest.







My new shirt! Lynne thought it was "me" and had to get it for me. I have to agree. I wore it for 2 days straight. lol It is my new favorite shirt. Eat your heart out Ron W.! Its mine!



I tore apart most of a red cotton sweater last night while watching the History channel. It was 9/11 and I watched non-stop for several hours.
I was surprised I didn't have nightmares.

9/11 and Katrina, both, effected me a lot more than I expected. Usually, I can distance myself from disasters in the news. But I wanted to help these people.

A shameless plug...

Friends and relatives,

I wanted all to know that my sister, Cari, is and has been an Avon Rep. She has an online store you can visit anytime to place an order.

I have been meaning to post this info for a long time, so my apologies for the delay. I will keep a link to her store in my List O' Links on the side of the blog.

Her store is located at: http://youravon.com/caridougherty

I have some more photos to post, so I will be updating the blog again this weekend.

I am feeling better every day - I am making a conscious effort and it is paying off. Thank you to everyone who called or wrote with words of encouragement! It helps!

The Healing Place

How can you NOT feel at peace with this in front of you?

Summer is lingering...

Clean up on isle 6

Things went downhill in a hurry after my last post. Physically and emotionally. To say I was exhausted would be an understatement. I hit rock bottom about 12 days ago with an incident at work.

Clean up in isle six is a reference to the mess I felt like and needed to "clean up". Too bad there isn't a mop for life! lol

I am making a slow and steady comeback. My thanks to my cousins, Julie and Lynne, for their support and empathy. It was greatly appreciated. I am trying to rest and take care of myself. Unfortunately, I will have to find a new doctor to help me. My doctor, who I bonded with quickly, has decided to cease practicing. So now, I have to find a doctor soon.

I'm not there yet, and don't really feel like blogging. Rather than continue to put it off, I wanted to put something together. I had to start somewhere and baby steps seemed in order.

Thankfully, I have taken some photos and that will add a thousand words, right? Lots of fresh air and sunshine. The past few days, summer has shown its face

I have begun spinning the wool from LC Guy. I am enjoying that and I am pleasantly surprised how slender my singles are turning out.

I departed from spinning and knitting to become destructive, which appeals to my current state of mind, and green - recycling. One of my knitting buddies posted a link to a web page about art yarn. The article also told how to tear a sweater apart for the yarn. I have destroyed 3 sweaters so far. One went into the trash, but the black is now 1000+ yards of cotton and I am half done with a pink (argh, I hate pink) cotton. It is a 3-ply, but very slender. I am considering plying the two together....black worsted weight with a thin line of pink running through it. Maybe I will try some pink barrel rolls even...add some beads and buttons and wah-lah, art yarn!